I feel like I have no personal space anymore. At all. I’m not a secretive person, who keeps everything from my parents or anything. But I do need my space from people. I need a lot of ‘me time’. I need my own place where I can be whenever I want that can be my own and mine only. But ever since my parents officially started to break up in October I’ve almost completely lost that.

I really don’t have much time where I genuinely feel alone (I do feel alone but in another way that isn’t this one, that’s not really positive for me but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.) and can just think or do whatever I want just by myself away from the people around me. People tire me. I’ve always been this way. Even when I was little. It really didn’t matter how much fun I was having with my friends I could/can’t spend more than 24 hours with them. I always end up looking for the soonest way out. Don’t get me wrong I love hanging out with I just need my own space. 

The only real place I somewhat feel I can have this sort of alone time is my room, in my old house (or I guess the one I’ve been living in for the longest). But seeing as now my time I have to be in my room is cut in half, or more like a fourth seeing as my sister doesn’t leave me alone anymore, I feel even more lost than usual. The only real time I have to myself now is late at night. Everyone’s asleep and can’t be in my space both mentally and physically. But this isn’t working to well for me. I mean yeah I can stay up all night and I do. Heck I’m writing this at 5 in the morning for pete’s sake. It’s just probably not the best thing for me to do. I mean sleeping during the day and staying up all night really makes you miss out on things, and really I can’t keep doing this when school starts up again. 

My counselor (don’t even get me started on this. It’s sort of mixed feelings about having to go and see her) wants to hypnotize me. Yeah that’s right hypnotize me. She wants me to have some place in my mind that I can go to at anytime to be ‘alone’. But somehow I doubt having some weird wheat field in my mind is going to help me have my alone time. Quite frankly I think that would screw me up more than I already am. 

Alright I am done. For now at least. Now I’ll probably go lay down because my stomach is KILLING me.